Partners in Crime
by nanniships
Summary: A tumblr conversation about which member of your OTP would sneak cookies to their child led to this. I'm sure it surprises no one. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Partners in Crime

Anthony Strallen listened to the raised voices in the kitchen with a grin on his face and wonder in his heart. As the intensity of his daughter's whinging increased, his wife's responses became more measured and calm - a trick he had never mastered when it came to their strong willed little girl. Edith could claim that she resembled him in temperament all she liked… Anthony knew better.

"The discussion is over," Edith said with a slight edge to her voice. "Off you go."

Anthony peeked out from behind his book and watched Jenny stomp vigorously to the sofa and fling herself face down on it. The long sigh she emitted was truly heart rending.

"No biscuit, then?" he asked conversationally.

Jenny flopped over onto her back and sighed histrionically again.

"Mummy won't even TALK about it," she wailed. There was a snort from the kitchen.

"No discussion at ALL?" he replied in sympathetic outraged tones. "That's terrible!"

"I only want ONE more biscuit," Jenny moaned pitifully. Anthony admired her dramatic skills, which were quite impressive for a four year old. Jenny suddenly sat up and looked at him appraisingly.

"I've got an idea," she said brightly. "YOU could talk to Mummy!"

"Me?" Anthony said in alarm. "Oh…I don't think that's the best idea, love."

"Of course it is," she proclaimed with an eye roll that was pure Edith. "You can EXPLAIN to Mummy how much I NEED another biscuit. She'll listen to you."

Anthony's eyebrows shot up as he pondered that statement. There was another snort from the kitchen.

"Please, Daddy," she begged winsomely. "PLEASE try. I might starve to death if I don't have another biscuit."

"Well, we certainly can't have you starving to death on my watch."

Standing and stretching, Anthony strolled casually into the kitchen and leaned against the counter to watch his wife chop carrots vigorously. She turned her head as she tossed a handful into a mixing bowl and raised an amused questioning eyebrow at him.

"I seem to have been deputized to reopen negotiations concerning a certain request for a final biscuit to carry my client through until dinner is ready."

"The discussion is over," she replied with an eye roll so much like their daughter's that Anthony couldn't hold back a grin. "And you shouldn't encourage this."

"What harm could one biscuit do, Edie?" he wheedled. Edith rapped his knuckles lightly with a wooden spoon as he began to rummage in the bowl full of salad for a carrot.

"Stop that! You're as bad as Jenny for spoiling your dinner."

Anthony held up his hands in surrender and began backing along the counter.

"No one can say I didn't give it my best shot," he murmured as Edith shooed him away and turned to open the refrigerator. As soon as her back was turned, Anthony dipped his hand into the biscuit jar at the end of the counter and snagged several, replacing the lid soundlessly.

Edith turned back around to the cutting board to see him standing innocently beside the biscuit jar, hands behind his back, pouting a little. Jenny peeked out from behind him with a matching pout.

"I said NO," she reiterated, pointing her spoon at them and scowling.

Anthony sighed and backed out of the kitchen with his head hanging. Jenny grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the sofa, skipping gleefully. They sat down together and Anthony opened his hand to reveal the biscuits. Jenny squealed and Anthony shushed her.

"Negotiations broke down, but I managed to…procure a sample of the product," he whispered. Jenny giggled, not having a clue what he was talking about, and crammed a biscuit into her mouth. Anthony followed suit.

"Anthony Strallen!" Edith barked from the door to the kitchen. "What did I say?"

"Well," he blustered, blowing biscuit crumbs onto the sofa, "you didn't say **I** couldn't have a biscuit." He quailed under the force of her glare.

"Can I have another, Daddy?" Jenny asked, hopefully.

Edith threw up her hands and stomped into the kitchen.

"I'm afraid we've done ourselves out of our pudding tonight, love," he said gloomily.

"Next time, Daddy, don't get caught," his daughter advised. She took his hand as they moved to the dining room and sat at the table.

"Will Mummy punish you?" she whispered anxiously, as Edith glared at the two of them while placing bowls on the table.

"Oh, I expect she will," he replied with a little smile, watching his wife's eyes flash. "But I did wrong, and I shall take my punishment like a man." He gazed at her remorsefully until she could hold her scowl no longer.

"Oh, you'll be sorry, Anthony," she informed him with a little smile.

"I doubt it, my dear," he replied with an answering smile.

"At least her dinner wasn't ruined," Edith remarked as Jenny plowed enthusiastically through a plate of pasta. She looked over at Anthony as he pushed his food around unenthusiastically. "Can't say the same for you."

"I guess I won't get any pudding," he said with a sigh.

"I'll have something sweet for you later," Edith said with a cheeky smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- There was a request for a follow-up to Partners in Crime, so this happened. You can blame "Guest" for it. Enjoy!**

The Tables are Turned

Edith Strallan peeked out of the bathroom as her husband staggered into the bedroom, scrubbing his face in fatigue and exasperation. She watched, grinning, as he threw himself down on their bed with a groan.

"Why is it," he addressed the ceiling, "that you can have her in bed and sleeping in ten minutes and it takes me four stories, three glasses of water, and a discussion about planets that would be better suited coming from an Astrophysicist rather than a professor in Literature?"

Edith's grin grew wider and she hummed as she squeezed out the toothpaste.

"She's had you wrapped around her finger from the moment she was born. What brought on the planets?"

"I have no idea, but she's worse than a first year undergraduate trying to seem erudite. 'Why did they do that, Daddy?' 'Who are those people, Daddy?' 'What happens next, Daddy?' 'What would that character who isn't even in the story do, Daddy?' 'Can you and Mummy have another baby, Daddy?' Bloody hell! I told her to read the material, and she reminded me that she can't read yet."

Edith was laughing so hard at this recitation that she missed the toothbrush entirely. Anthony threw her a mildly annoyed look, which changed to salaciously speculative as he watched her bending and stretching to find a face cloth and clean off the vanity. He nearly missed her next comment entirely.

"What did you tell her?" she asked, still giggling.

"Hmmm? What?"

"What did you tell her?" she repeated, catching his glance and smiling with satisfaction at what was written so clearly across his face.

"Well, I didn't want to spend thirty minutes analyzing the motives of 'My Little Pony.' Honestly, you'd think 'Friendship is Magic,' would be rather self explanatory," he replied, reaching for his pajamas and unbuttoning his shirt.

"You won't be needing those," Edith informed him, as she breezed out of the bathroom, plucking the pajama top from his fingers. "And I meant the question about the baby, and you know it."

"Ah… well I told her we had no immediate plans, so she shouldn't expect one for Christmas."

Edith rolled her eyes. "I doubt that satisfied her." She pushed off his shirt and took a moment to run her hands down his chest.

"It did not," he growled. "First she demanded to know when, then she demanded to know how…" He trailed off as Edith dropped her dressing gown to the floor, reveling the camisole and shorts she usually slept in.

"Take those off," she ordered, pointing to his trousers.

"It's your tone," he said as he fumbled with his belt. "That's why you're so much better at getting her to behave. You inspire obedience."

Edith rolled her eyes and gently knocked his hands away to take over the task herself. "Perhaps if you weren't so quick to join in her larcenous biscuit schemes, you'd inspire a little more obedience."

"If I promise to never do it again, would you please finishing unzipping my trousers?"

Edith stepped back and smiled wickedly as she dropped her hands. "You haven't been punished for this last episode yet. Besides, you know you'll never keep that promise."

Anthony clenched his jaw as she walked round behind him towards the bed, dragging her palm across his bottom. He turned around enough to watch her bend over and draw down the duvet.

"What did you tell her about the 'how.' I knew we'd get that question someday."

"Um…" Anthony tried to concentrate on the question. "Oh, yes. I… um, told her I forgot and that I'd ask you."

Edith stood straight up and whirled around with her hands on her hips. "You told her you forgot how babies are made? Are you joking!?"

"Edith," he groaned, watching her chest move with each agitated breath, "I was desperate to get away. And I was hungry, besides. I didn't get any pudding tonight."

"Quit whinging about the bloody biscuits! You seriously told her you forgot?" At his sheepish nod, Edith reached out to grab the waistband of his trousers and yanked him to her. With nimble fingers, she had them open and pushed down to his ankles. Before he could respond, she pushed him backwards onto the bed and stood over him, trying to scowl.

"Is this my punishment for being naughty?" he asked hoarsely as his eyes flew up and down her body.

"No. This is your refresher tutorial on procreation," she informed him as she peeled off her camisole and joined him on the bed.

"You'll find me an eager student… Oh God, Edith! What are you doing?"

"Always with the questions-it's clear where Jenny gets it. Now shut up, and kiss me."

"Will I get a biscuit afterwards?"

"You won't want one by the time I'm done with you."


End file.
